15 Days

15 days.... Doesn't sound very long does it?!?! For me today, emotionally it feels like years. 15 days since I have talked to God, 15 days since I have picked up my bible, 15 days since I have done a bible study, 15 days that I have been so caught up in this world that I have drowned out the voice of God!!! This world makes it so easy to fill our lives with distractions and the devil is around everywhere we turn. As I sit back and reflect on the past 15 days it's mind blowing to realize all of the different ways the devil has entered my life. I've pushed God far far into the background of my life the past 15days. Yes, I've gone to Church but you know that saying, "Just because you go to church doesn't make you a Christian." Well, I was in Church but as soon as I walked out those doors its was, "My way, my life.'' What amazes me is that even though I pushed God away, God is still there as everything else passes. He is still waiting on me! It makes me smile writing that!! Nothing can satisfy our inner longing for God, except communion and fellowship with him. This morning as I was drinking my coffee like I do every morning I felt anxiety. I was tired I wanted to just crawl back in bed and sleep the day away. Having 3 kids calling out "Mama" every 5 minutes and one crying to be held was not helping the way I was feeling. I jumped into the shower to just get a moment alone to myself, a moment to breath to think clearly to make a plan on how I was gonna make it through this horrible no good day. Guess who was waiting on me..God! He was speaking to me! I ran all the hot water out I had one long conversation with him. Then I got out, picked up my bible and studied! You know when you have one of those moments in church when the preacher is preaching directly to you and you know he is clearly speaking directly to you eye contact and all? Well my bible study was that for me! He knew what I needed at that moment and there they were. Those four words: Let God Lead You!! I was leading my life. I was doing everything I wanted to do making my own decisions letting all the distractions of life overcome me. I was breaking down, ''I needed God!!'' I needed to slow down. I needed to self discipline and stop procrastinating. I needed to eliminate key distractions in my life and set some guidelines. I needed to  set a time where I am "off limits" to give myself a break. And mostly I needed to pray and listen. I needed to let God lead me!!!!!!! As I am writing this I feel like a new person like someone has lifted a rock off my chest.  I am amazed at how God is working in my life!! Day 16 is a new day and I am thankful for new days, for God's forgiveness, and for Him always waiting on me!! Hurrying is the flesh trying to do more than the Holy Spirit is leading us to do. Take a look back at your last 15days. Who is leading your life?