I've been up since 6:30 am thinking about life. There has been a lot of tragedy and death lately which makes my mind start pondering. For those of you who don't know we recently lost my aunt who was battling cancer. I'm not very good with emotions and I assume the reasoning behind that has to do with something in my childhood. Losing someone so close to my heart hasn't been the easiest for me. I like to hide my emotions and hold them in until they build up and big ball of mess comes pouring out. The older I get, I become more aware of how crazy I am lol!
My aunt...I'm not sure I've ever or will ever meet someone more selfless in my entire life. Selflessness is something I seriously struggle with. Some of you might be thinking right now "yep she sure does" and other might be thinking "no way". The truth is I do. I struggle with it in my everyday life and with my relationship with God. I had a breaking point a few Sundays ago where I woke up super early with "selfish" on my heart. Imagine someone bugging you, you can't escape them and they follow you everywhere you go until you finally have to stop what your doing and scream "what!!!!!" Well that's what God was doing to me that morning. I stopped getting ready for church and I got on my knees and listened to him. He wanted me to stop being selfish! I always want things my way, I run my life, I do the things I wanna do when I wanna do them, I make decisions on my own (sometimes I consult the hubby) I study the bible when I want, I pray when I want and i usually prayed for myself and my family first. I was putting myself before God. I was being selfish! The bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:24 Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. Christians should take care not to use their liberty to the hurt of others, or to their own reproach. In eating and drinking, and in all we do, we should aim at the glory of God, at pleasing and honoring him. While study "selfishness" I came across this and wanted to share;
The Corinthians were very conscious of their personal rights, but Paul challenged them to not become self-oriented but others-oriented. We are to become oriented to the good of others.
Committed Christians should be more interested in the good of the other person than in their own rights.The well-being of other believers should be a priority of a committed believer. Exercise of liberty is of secondary importance. Placing the good of another person above our own is an indication of God’s touch upon our lives.
Most Christians are concerned about their own personal success, which is a terrific indictment against Christians today. We think of everything in reference to how it will affect us. It is all about “me first.” Self-interest is not our true purpose. The Word of God challenges this attitude; we must not revert to this kind of thinking:
-Je 45: 5 “And do you seek great things for yourself? Do not seek them; for behold, I will bring adversity on all flesh,” says the Lord. “But I will give your life to you as a prize in all places, wherever you go.”
-Ph 2: 3Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.
4Let each of you lookout not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Most of us think in terms of self. “I am not appreciated like I should be.” “I am not recognized like I ought to be.” We allow our feeling to get hurt and we wear our feelings on our sleeve. We are great at looking out for ourselves, because we want to get some credit, some popularity, and we want recognition for what we do.
I really encourage you to take a look at your life. I encourage you to stop being Selfish! I don't expect a "bad habit" to change over night. I also know with God's help anything is possible. Continue to pray for me as I continue to grow in my relationship with God and I learn to be selfless!
*Please add my family to your prayer list as we continue to mourn the loss of one of the most inspiring, loving, happiest, selfless people I've ever known, Charlotte Wallace.
