JESUS FREAK

Last night we had a girls night out. We decided to go to dinner in Lake Park since that's where most of us lived and we all would be  close to home.  Rascals has the best food in Lake Park by a long shot. I've never eaten anything there that wasn't delish. We all met at 7:30 had a great yummy dinner and around 9 or so the place turns into one wild and crazy bar.  There I was surrounded by a bunch of people who probably want remember what they did that night.  I've been there in their shoes... Thinking this is what great feels like this is what having a good time is.. No care in the world.  Ha!  Ha!  Back then my world was one huge mess I was on a path of destruction and my life was going no where but death if I kept it up. I'm so lucky that God had bigger plans for this girl.  I broke free from that life he saved me!  I thank him everyday for not only giving me one chance  he has giving me tons of chances to be the best I can be.  He never has giving up on me and never will! I'm not perfect  I can't say that enough I fall down but I get back up!  I believe he puts people in situation for them to learn from to grow from.  Last night was one of those moments for me.  I thought I could have a few drinks nothing wrong with that right?  I mean "Jesus drank wine. " "As long as I don't get drunk I'm okay" Umm.. So after dinner I sat there with my drink This place is in full bar mode at this point.  I`ve never felt so ashamed. Here I am trying to witness to others and I'm sitting in a bar drinking an alcoholic drink... Really!?!? Yes, I never drink and this is a rare I mean rare occasion but these were just excuses to make myself feel like I wasn't doing something wrong.  If my preacher were to walk into this place right now I would wanna crawl under the table and die :) I would be so ashamed. The thing is my preacher doesn't know I'm here.  He doesn't know I'm sitting at this bar and drinking this drink but you know who does know. Who sees me drinking and knows I feel shameful and embarrassed? GOD!!! We didn't stay long but we stayed long enough and when I got home I prayed for forgiveness! I thanked him for giving me the life I have now and I prayed for him to use my night to witness to someone else who is in my shoes. Everyone has there on views and beliefs as to how they feel about my situation and I'm not looking down upon or think I'm better than anyone else. But for me it's not where I wanna be this is not who I am anymore.  I know this one time out doesn't describe or define who I am but for me it does.  When people think of me or see me I want them to say she is a "Jesus Freak" now!!! I want people to see Jesus in me.  I want him to be like a huge spot light shinning through me!!!  This is who I am I am; a child of God!!!!  I want people to think I'm too good to be in this bar!! I AM too good to be there and you are too!!!! I'm a growing Christian my faith gets wiser and stronger every day God is working in my life. He is making changes in my heart from big to small. I have to let go of my life and let him take control I'm with Him now and He is the driver!! Who's in control of your life? what excuses are you making? Let God shine through you!!